Internal Overwhelm and the Art of Resting

By Lena Canu MA, LPC, NCC

Many of us assume overwhelm is alone created by external demands. These may include our never ending to-do lists, work pressure, personal and interpersonal responsibilities, and constant notifications all within a short span of a day. While these factors do matter, chronic overwhelm often has less to do with what is happening outside of us and more to do with what could be happening internally within you.

Brené Brown, a research professor, author, and public speaker known for her work on vulnerability, shame, empathy, and human connection writes in her book Atlas of the Heart that “overwhelm reflects an extreme level of stress and an emotional and/or cognitive intensity so strong that it can leave a person feeling unable to function. Similarly, the Merriam Webster dictionary defines overwhelm as “being completely overcome or overpowered by thought or feeling”.

Chronic overwhelm usually extends beyond simply having too much to do. It is a persistent internal state of not doing enough, not being enough, falling behind, and never quite catching up. It is often not a time management problem, but an ongoing internal dialogue happening beneath the surface. No matter how much you accomplish, it never feels like enough. Because of this, rest does not feel restorative. It can feel uncomfortable, unearned, or even unsafe.

While normal overwhelm can occur in response to external tasks, internal overwhelm often emerges when those tasks are accompanied by self-evaluation, including judgment, criticism, perfectionistic standards, or fear of inadequacy. This may look like asking yourself if you are doing enough, carrying unspoken expectations either your own or past messages passed on to you, and living in a near constant state of self-pressure. In this state, your nervous system remains stuck in an “I am failing” mode even when you are not. The internal message becomes familiar. Do more. Be more. Push harder.

What Chronic Overwhelm Does to the Nervous System: When overwhelm is internal and ongoing, the body rarely experiences true safety. Chronic overwhelm often shows up physically. You may feel rushed even when nothing urgent is happening, become irritated by small interruptions, or stay busy with even minor tasks. They are signs of a nervous system operating in survival mode. When slowing down feels risky or irresponsible, the nervous system never receives the signal that it is okay to rest. The body remains alert, braced, and prepared for more demands, even during moments meant for recovery.

Rest Is Not the Opposite of Overwhelm; It Is the Antidote: Rest is not doing nothing, being unproductive, or something you have to earn after exhaustion. Rest is a nervous system intervention! True rest communicates safety to the body. It sends messages such as I am not being chased. I am not failing. Nothing needs to be fixed right now. If you have lived in chronic self pressure, rest can initially feel uncomfortable. Guilt, anxiety, or restlessness may arise not because rest is wrong, but because the nervous system is unfamiliar with stillness without self criticism.

Reframing Rest: Rest does not have to be passive or perfect to be effective. It can look like letting something be good enough instead of optimized, pausing without immediately justifying the pause, allowing moments where nothing is being evaluated or improved, or practicing presence without productivity. For those experiencing internal overwhelm, learning to rest often can begin with softening self-evaluations rather than simply slowing the body. Because overwhelm does not always come from doing too much; Sometimes it comes from believing you are never enough as you are. Here are some things to consider to help assist in coping with overwhelm:

1. Separate facts from the feeling. Language shifting/reframing may be a helpful tool to start. Instead of: “I’m falling behind”, you may want to say “I’m having the feeling that I’m falling behind” which can create space. You are still honoring your feeling, but not allowing it to run your whole show. If you want to go one layer deeper, you may approach yourself with curiosity, including “What standard am I measuring myself against?” or “Who decided that for me?” This replaces self-evaluation and judgment with mindfulness and curiosity. 
2. Replace “catching up” with “stabilizing”.  Ask yourself what would make today feel manageable rather than impressive. Stability can help to calm the nervous system.
3.  Explore topics with your ATPWC therapist. Chronic overwhelm is often maintained by deeply held beliefs about worth, safety, and performance that operate outside of conscious awareness and quietly shape how you relate to rest, productivity, and yourself. In therapy, this work may involve exploring these beliefs and their origins. Over time, this process reduces internal pressure and helps the nervous system learn that worth does not need to be constantly proven.

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